The SILLY SONG Project

CHORUS:
It ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more, no more!
So how in the heck gonna wash your neck,
If it ain't gonna rain no more?

An apple sat on the railroad track, feeling very cross
Along came the 5:15; Toot! Toot! Applesauce!
CHORUS

A rabbi sat on the railroad track, reading his baruches
Along came the 5:15, and knocked him on his toches!
CHORUS

A peanut sat on the railroad track, its heart was all a-flutter
Along came the 5:15; Toot! Toot! Peanut butter!
CHORUS

Miss Lucy had a tugboat, the tugboat had a bell.
Miss Lucy went to heaven, but the tugboat went "Toot! Toot!"
CHORUS

Mary had a little lamb, she also had a bear;
I've often seen her little lamb, but I've never seen her bare!
CHORUS

Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead,
And now she brings it to school between two hunks of bread!
CHORUS

Mary had a little lamb, a little pork, a little jam,
A little soda topped with fizz, and boy how sick our Mary is!
CHORUS

Some say fleas are black, but I know that ain't so,
'Cuz Mary had a little lamb whose fleas were white as snow!
CHORUS

CHORUS:
Boom! Boom! Ain't it great to be crazy?
Boom! Boom! Ain't it great to be nuts like you?
Silly and foolish all day long.
Boom! Boom! Ain't it great to be crazy!

Way down south where bananas grow
A mouse stepped on an elephant's toe
The elephant cried, with tears in his eyes,
Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
CHORUS

Way up north where there's ice and snow
There lived a penguin by the name of Joe
He got so tired of black and white
He wore pink pajamas to the party last night!
CHORUS

Oh, it's beer, beer, beer, that makes you want to cheer
In the Corps, in the Corps
Oh, it's beer, beer, beer, that makes you want to cheer
In the Quartermaster, Quartermaster Corps

CHORUS:
My eyes are dim I cannot see I do not have my specs with me,
[My eyes             are dim         I can               not see]
I do not have my specs with me.

Oh, it's wine, wine, wine, that makes you feel so fine
In the Corps, in the Corps
Oh, it's wine, wine, wine, that makes you feel so fine
In the Quartermaster, Quartermaster Corps
CHORUS

Oh, it's water, water, water, that makes you feel you oughta
In the Corps, in the Corps
Oh, it's water, water, water, that makes you feel you oughta
In the Quartermaster, Quartermaster Corps
CHORUS

Now there's a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
Now there's a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a log, there's a log,
There's a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
Now there's a bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a bump, there's a bump,
There's a bump at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
Now there's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a frog, there's a frog,
There's a frog at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a wart on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
Now there's a wart on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a wart, there's a wart,
There's a wart at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a fly on the wart on the frog . . .
Now there's a fly on the wart on the frog . . .
There's a fly, there's a fly,
There's a fly at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a wing on the fly on the wart . . .
Now there's a wing on the fly on the wart . . .
There's a wing, there's a wing,
There's a wing at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a flea on the wing on the fly . . .
Now there's a flea on the wing on the fly . . .
There's a flea, there's a flea,
There's a flea at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a wing on the flea on the wing . . .
Now there's a wing on the flea on the wing . . .
There's a wing, there's a wing,
There's a wing at the bottom of the sea.

Now there's a speck on the wing on the flea . . .
Now there's a speck on the wing on the flea . . .
There's a speck, there's a speck,
There's a speck oat n the bottom of the sea.

CHORUS:
No cares have I to grieve me
No pretty little girl to deceive me
I'm as happy as a lark, believe me
As we go rolling, rolling home.
Rolling home, rolling home,
By the light of the silvery moon
Happy as the day, as we line up for our pay
As we go rolling, rolling home.

I've got fourpence; jolly, jolly fourpence.
I've got fourpence to last me all my life!
I've got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend,
And no pence to send home to the wife (poor wife!)
CHORUS

I've got tuppence; jolly, jolly tuppence.
I've got tuppence to last me all my life!
I've got tuppence to spend, and no pence to lend,
And no pence to send home to the wife (poor wife!)
CHORUS

I had a cow that wouldn't give milk, I had a cow that wouldn't give milk.
My wife said "honey, now that ain't funny, to have a cow that won't give milk."
One day that rooster (Yee-ha!) came into our yard, and swept that cow right off its guard.
We're having eggnog, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!
We're having eggnog, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!

I had a dog that wouldn't have pups, I had a dog that wouldn't have pups.
My wife said "honey, now that ain't funny, to have a dog that won't have pups."
One day that rooster (Yee-ha!) came into our yard, and swept that dog right off its guard.
We're having pooched eggs now, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!
We're having pooched eggs now, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!

I had a gum tree that wouldn't give gum, I had a gum tree that wouldn't give gum.
My wife said "honey, now that ain't funny, to have a gum tree that won't give gum."
One day that rooster (Yee-ha!) came into our yard, and swept that gum tree right off its guard.
We're having chicklets, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!
We're having chicklets, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!

I had a garden that wouldn't grow, I had a garden that wouldn't grow.
My wife said "honey, now that ain't funny, to have a garden that will not grow."
One day that rooster (Yee-ha!) came into our yard, and swept that garden right off its guard.
We're having eggplant, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!
We're having eggplant, just like we used to, ever since that rooster came into our yard!

Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, my love?

With wood, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With wood, dear Henry, dear Henry, with wood.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, my love?

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, an axe.

The axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The axe is too dull, dear Liza, my love.

So hone it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So hone it, dear Henry, dear Henry, hone it.

With what shall I hone it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I hone it, dear Liza, my love?

With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone,

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, my love.

So wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, my love?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, with water.

With what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, my love?

With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, a bucket!

CHORUS: It was sad (so sad), it was sad (too bad)
It was sad when the great ship went down (to the bottom of the..)
Husbands and wives, little (itty-bitty) children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down

Oh, they sailed from England, and were almost ashore
When the rich refused to associate with the poor
So they put them down below, where they were the first to go
It was sad when the great ship went down
CHORUS

Oh, the boat was full of din, and the sides about to burst
When the captain shouted "Women and children first!"
Then the captain tried to wire, but the wireless was on fire
It was sad when the great ship went down
CHORUS

So they swung the lifeboats out o'er the deep and briny sea
As the band struck up with "Near My God to Thee"
Little children wept and cried, as the waves swept, o'er the side
It was sad when the great ship went down
CHORUS

Little Willy was a good Boy Scout; he gouged his sister's eyeballs out.
When his mother said, "Willy, stop,' he jumped on them to make them pop.
CHORUS

Little Willy at a passing gent, threw a bag of wet cement.
Then Willy said, "when you dry, you're sure to be a real hard guy."
CHORUS

Little Willy was full of gore; he nailed his sister to the door.
Said Willy's mother, in a voice so faint: "Willy, please -- you'll scratch the paint!"
CHORUS

The other day [echo: the other day]
I met a bear [I met a bear]
Up in the woods [up in the woods]
Away up there [away up there]
The other day I met a bear, up in the woods away up there

He looked at me
I looked at him
He sized up me
I sized up him
He looked at me, I looked at him. He sized up me, I sized up him.

He said to me
Why don't you run?
I see you ain't
Got any gun
He said to me why don't you run? I see you ain't got any gun

And so I ran
Away from there
And right behind
Me was that bear!
And so I ran away from there, and right behind me was that bear!

And then a tree
That I did spy
Its lowest branch
Was ten feet high
And then a tree that I did spy: its lowest branch was ten feet high

And so I leapt
Into the air
And missed that branch
Away up there
And so I leapt into the air, and missed that branch away up there

Now, don't you fret
And don't you frown
I caught that branch
On the way back down
Now, don't you fret and don't you frown -- I caught that branch on the way back down

There was a little Dutchman, his name was Johnny Bobeck
He was a dealer in sausages, in saurkraut and speck
He made the finest sausages the world has ever seen
Until the day that he invented that wonderful sausage machine

CHORUS:
Oh, hey, Mr. Johnny Bobeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors' cats and dogs will nevermore be seen;
They've all been ground to sausages by Johnny Bobeck's machine!

One day a little Dutch boy came walking in the store
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor
He then began to whistle, he whistled up a tune
And all the little sausages, they danced around the room
CHORUS

Oh, the farmer's name was Hiram
In the morning he would hire 'em
In the evening he would fire 'em
Down on the Bingo farm

CHORUS:
On the B-I-B-I-B-I-Bingo
B-I-B-I-B-I-Bingo
B-I-B-I-B-I-Bingo
Down on the Bingo farm

Oh, the wife's name was Lucy
And she was kinda woozy
From drinking apple juicy
Down on the Bingo farm
CHORUS

Oh, the maid's name was Mabel
And she spilled milk on the table
So now she sleeps in the stable
Down on the Bingo farm
CHORUS

Oh, the handyman's name was Moses
And he had halitosis
So he didn't smell like roses
Down on the Bingo farm
CHORUS